And this is where that flash presentation goes! I'll probably replace the flash with something better down the road, but for now I need to meet the criteria of a particular client prospect.

http://www.grassdogstudio.com/resume.php

I might be able to select even better work for my portfolio over time, but this is the best I've cobbled together yet. I think I'll need help to make it better.

As of writing this, I'm still putting in descriptions for some of the artwork. It's a lot of work, but it feels so good.

Julie and I had our first date five years ago today. It's also the day that I proposed to her.

Tonight, we'll probably do something special, but first we're at band rehearsal for Sir Reginold Cosgrove & His Nighttime Singers, which is a nice and special part of our weekly routine. She's been in the band nearly as long as we've known each other. The band's five year anniversary will be next July 3rd.

Tonight is also the last night of my wife's first paid vacation in a long time. She currently works for Brenthaven, doing bookkeeping of sorts, and she's accrued enough PTO that she needs to use it up in smaller chunks during the holiday season or lose it at the end of the year.

When we had the flu a week ago, over the weekend, it was romantic because we were forced to spend all day in bed watching T.V. No cleaning, no nothing. It was something we both really needed. This last weekend, which lasted from Friday through today, we were well and could clean, which is a whole different kind of vacation. A vacation from not enough time to keep our space tidy. We were freaking productive. Our basement apartment isn't perfect, but it's no longer a hell hole.

Still, I've been feeling remarkably sleepy lately. I think I may have contracted some sort of mild generic bacterial infection while fighting the flu, or I seriously malnourished myself, and I've been slow to recover. But, I've been eating well, and still getting exercise by cleaning, and getting a little better each day.

I'm damn well ready to try making some money tomorrow. I'm sick of not having a steady income (or much of one at all). But, in all likelihood, you won't see my efforts in this regard until Thursday. I've got some other work to finish first. Just two pieces.

My god, I'm down to just two unfinished commitments. In two days, I'll be caught up. For the first time in years and years and years. I've lost count.

As of tonight, I am finished with my quest to read and complete The Hobbit, The Fellowship of the Rings, The Two Towers, and Return of the King. Now I know what everyone has been talking about all this time.

Somewhat over nine years ago, maybe sixteen or eighteen (it was back in high school), I heard about how Tolkein went about writing these books, and though I had never read them or had them read to me myself, I was impressed and took heart. Apparently he'd spent years working on the backgrounds and myths and legends that went into them, so that by the time he sat down to actually write them, everything had nearly already been done. See, I had been trying to write a novel sized story since seventh grade, and with no luck.

With that in mind I picked up The Earthsea Tilogy and read it instead, finding a voice there to inspire me. I still like Ursula K. LeGuin's mythic voice a bit better than Tolkein's. It was a good choice. But as you may possibly see, Tolkein's has effected me for the moment.

And so it was, with the wisdom of Tolkein's world building and LeGuin's language, I set about inventing my own world. pentheus was the first hear it's creation myth, and the time I told it to him was the best. I think because of that, he's been one of my best editor-fans.

Then I found a first edition copy of the Silmarillion for $10 in village books and bought it.

How all of this effort became waylayed by the endeavor of webcomicking and thus Harmless Free Radicals and The Dragon & the Radical is a story I've already told time and again, and I'll skip it here to get to the point.

I'm probably one of the few of my generation to have read the books after having seen the movies. I'm not really sad about that, because the movies were great, and the books lived up to them and surpassed them by giving more. It's clear that the movie makers made everything just a little bit bigger than described in the books, but that's OK. That's the way stories should be retold. There's more story in the books.

Also, I did not find them boring or tedious in the least. But then, I tried reading the Silmarillion first, and let me tell you, you don't read it, you battle it. It is more sluggish than even The Dragon Bone Chair by Tad Williams, and more pedantic than A History of the Calculus (both of which I highly recommend).

I've only explored a third of the Silmarillion. Now it may be time to tackle that beast again, I think.

But I'll give reading a rest for a bit while I try to get over this flu and then get some damn work done finally!

After this, I feel like sleeping all day today:



I started up on Alabama hill and ended in Fairhaven. Julie took me to On Rice afterward, which was a fantastic way to end the day.


I haven't done the numbers, but by visual comparison this is in fact the longest and hardest walk I've done in my home town to date. It's close, though. Once, I walked from my parents' house to Sunset Cinema. And another time I walked from Whatcom Community College to my grandparents' house on 14th street and adams, at 12:30 am.

On this one, I started to feel it around the juncture of State Street and Forrest, but it's South Hill that killed me. That last block between 15th and 16th street sapped the last of my strength, and then the downhill walk from there I was a bit like a human slinky, with screaming muscles.

I just found a fan for my laptop that is $20 instead of the $70 I expected to pay. It is used and has only a six month warrenty, but it has been tested and it's gotta work better than the current fan my laptop has which just doesn't work.

Also, a $50 savings is pretty useful.

laurajerry thought I'd do this, so I'm gonna anyway:

( 3s of me )

In not particular order:

- Put ink down (on paper) on The Big Tattoo Design
- Ink and color tomorrow's It's Easy
- Illustrate the back of my favorite drawing board and broadcast it on Ustream

At 10AM PT, today, I'm broadcasting my work. I'll be painting a dragon of some sort on the back of my favorite drawing board. I'll post a link to the show when it starts. And when I'm done I'll then take a nice photograph of it and post it here.

...

And then, later this week, once I'm finished with my commissions (to prove that I can get work done), I'll start to take pre-orders on my invention. Start thinking about which of the following you'd like on the back of your custom illustrated drawing board (comes with the first five purchases of my invention): A dragon, a pin-up (male or female), or something coffee related.

Those'll be the choices (I choose the specifics based on who you are -- it's a gift for helping me start my business).

July 31 is the anniversary of the release of my first comic strip. If ever I were to envision a new beginning to my projects, it'll be around that time.

And here I've got a vision:

In the future, I'd like to do my art for it's own sake, no longer making money off it, no longer taking commissions on design or illustration. But I still aim to use it in my career and display it for all to see.

Also, I think I've got a way to do that.

Might not work. If it doesn't work, I'll just go with the flow and do something else.

When I'm stressed, I do not manage my time well. Also, I tend to shut down my communication channels one by one.

This makes it extremely difficult to freelance, perhaps impossible.

I'm not sure how to improve this behavior, as I think I've had this problem since my first homework assignment was given to me.

Thank You...
If there is one person or more on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.


Note: There are several of you.

I really wish I had gotten a full night's sleep last night. There is one thing holding me back today and it's lack of sleep.

I could be kicking ass. Instead, I'm zombified.

Fortunately, we have this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQYjZc7gKXc

Thank you nuin!

I haven't been posting as much personal stuff lately has I have in the past. I think there are a few reasons for this. I'm feeling less whiny, for one. But there've been a lot of really cool things I've wanted to share! And I just haven't had the energy or time to do so.

I'm not going to blame Twitter or FaceBook, because I'm talking about posting to them, too. I do, but not as much as I'm inspired to.

Mostly, I think it's this heat. Or a combination of that and my focus on work. I've a limited amount of energy in this weather and work is winning right now.

But we can play catch-up!

Notes for the past week:

1. Quickly approaching our second anniversary, I'm finding that I still keep falling in love with my wife over the most wonderfully silly little things, as well as all the important big ones.

2. 80+ degree weather makes my head feel like it has hot coals in it, with my brain in a condition where it feels like it has stopped bubbling and is now just losing that last bit of moisture as it congeals to the top of my skull. You people who were built for weather like this have no idea how lucky you are. You take it for granted that human beings are meant for this. Maybe there's something wrong with me, but I have to be extra vigilant not to get heat stroke, and even so I rarely have enough energy to work a full day, let alone remain conscious. Fortunately, in Bellingham, 80+ degree weather lasts typically for only a couple months. But it started early this year.

3. Living with my housemates rocks. Their kids are fun, their hobbies match ours, we have a garden on the deck and woodworking equipment in the garage, there's always food, everything's a little cheaper, and we play D&D every other thursday night.

4. I keep taking pictures that I want to share with everyone, but I don't have a very good method for removing those photos from my phone at the moment. I can put them on my laptop easily enough, but I hate working from my laptop these days. Hate, hate, hate it. I wish my phone would sink with my Mac. I mean, I've got some really amazing and funny stuff to post! Also, I again blame the weather.

5. My arm has been feeling significantly better in the last couple of days. Like healed. The rest of me is feeling a lot more relaxed because of it.

6. The cat is affectionate to the point of being annoying. She nibbles.

7. There's some other stuff, but I'm running out of steam.

I've switched to Asprin from Ibuprofen, at least for a little bit. Lately, it seems like my problems are primarily spasming muscles and that the Ibuprofen hasn't been doing anything for that. In fact, my back has become quite a bit of a mess of knots as well. So, Julie and I fiddled with our mattress in an attempt to make our bed softer, and I'm taking the Asprin and doing more stretches. So far, it seems to be helping. It felt like I'd hit a plateau near the end of last week, and this morning I feel marginally better. Might be purely psychological, but Asprin seems healthier to me anyway.

I'm also cautiously stepping up my art production this week. That might fuck with things, but I've got a schedule I'd really like to stick to. I'll back off if it feels like I'm hurting myself. I don't seem to have a problem doing that.

The weekend was big. Almost as big as the previous weekend. Today is Julie's dad's birthday, so we celebrated it yesterday and spent most of the day out at their house, which was fun. We also did a lot of working on bikes, mowing of lawns, and other various productive things.

But the thing that really overshadowed all of it was that Julie's orange male cat, Marius, who's been living at her parents' house these past 14 years, passed away Friday night. It didn't really hit me all that hard, probably because I didn't live with him most of his life, but I am going to miss him. And I've lost a few pets myself, so the way it affected Julie made sense to me. I've been trying to be extra kind to her this weekend, but I can be pretty stupidly selfish sometimes if I don't think about it constantly.

Both of her surviving cats have been extra loving lately. In the case of Zoe, the other cat at her parents' house, it's extremely endearing. In the case of Terra, who lives with us, it can be a little annoying. Terra is a little persistent in her demands for attention and like to nibble. Lately, she's taken to sitting her ass on my exposed hand at night. It's kind of distracting when I'm in the middle of a dream.

I've been cautiously pushing myself with my art, doing a little drawing here and there to keep my skills up while I heal and to gauge how much healing I've actually done. The minute I start to feel it I stop, right?

Well, it's just enough drawing to watch my skills go flat. I fucking hate everything I'm doing today. And now I gotta stop for the rest of the day.

It's time to go for a walk and write more comics in my head. Then probably take a nap and do more writing in my head. Then maybe take my laptop to Sir Reg's rehearsal tonight and put it all down for future use.

But I want to keep drawing!

Man, I've got a tough life.

As some readers and friends may have noticed, I like to collect subcultural differences. Unfortunately, when I catalog them here in my journal, they often look like complaints. Probably partly because there is a bit of complaint in them, and partly because I have complained about other things. But really, I'm just extremely amused and fascinated by these differences!

A really good, and fun example, is shaving.

Now, for the sake of my marriage, I shave. Before I started dating at the late age of 26, I had never shaved at all. My sole purpose for shaving is to make kissing more pleasant, though now I am finally beginning to feel more comfortable clean shaven (my face is getting used to it).

However, I come from a background and a group of people where being clean shaven isn't important (at least in the first 26 years of my life). And I'm not necessarily talking about beards here, though I've sported one most of my life. Stubble is perfectly socially acceptable stuff, and on some men actually looks better than being clean shaven. In fact, I'm of the firm belief that I look better with a little bit of color to my face given by stubble. I hate how I look clean shaven (at least most of the time).

My wife, Julie, as even once commented on how handsome I look with a certain amount of growth on my face.

However, Julie comes from a background where being clean shaven is considered more attractive than having any hair at all. And if you do have a beard, it must be extremely well trimmed. Also, combed hair is important. Consequentially, she reminds me to groom before any special event where we may be encountering people.

Now, knowing that her cultural background is more conservative, and therefor more formal, and therefor more in line with what the general populace at large comes to expect at special events (and job interviews), I groom without complaint!

However, I don't get it. I can reason it out, and I can accept it. But to my eyes, a man can easily be too well groomed. A certain amount of muss, a certain roughness to the edges, a little bit of stubble (if it's not to dark and startling), looks more honest, human and comfortable.

More importantly, I feel like I can defend this stance on artistic grounds. Sharp contrast is startling, and can look seriously out of place. On some people (men included) it looks right, but on many it looks wrong to me. A bit of fuzziness softens the edges a bit and looks more natural.

Again, to me.

I imagine my readers fall into all sorts of places on this spectrum, and probably even completely outside it. We're talking about aesthetic preferences v.s. well, basically, etiquette. Being raised in a subculture of American society where it's OK to be just a little lazy with your grooming, I've not only gotten used to it visually but see it as a mark of an honest human being.

Still, I'm happy putting up with being less attractive just so that I can feel more comfortable. Comfort has always been more important in my book than appearances, and I'm more comfortable being clean shaven now (dammit).

I just caught myself writing "I can't be shirt" instead of "I can't be sure." I'm not really sure how that typo worked out, but I just about did it again right there!

I haven't been posting much to LJ like I used to. Part of it is that I used to whine so much that people would start to take my philosophical posts as whining, too, and that got really annoying. Part of it is that I'm busy trying to figure out this business thing one last time, and the one thing I haven't tried yet is spending more time actually working and less time thinking and writing about it. So posting less is part of that formula.

And yet I'm still around because I need to share what I'm doing. Makes my journal seem more like a promotional blog, except when I find funny things from other people to post. And since I occasionally need to take a break, that happens often enough!

I'd love to wax philosophical more often, but I really just don't have the energy for it these days. I'm sure I'll come back to it. I've lived just long enough to notice that these behaviors are cyclical for me.

Anyway, my biggest obstacle to date is still my drawing arm being all screwed up. It's daunting enough that I'm almost about to give up cartooning and hand-writing all together (at least for a while). But I don't know what else I'd do right now. It's not that I don't have a lot of options, it's that my brain is in the gear for cartooning and doesn't really want to think of anything else.

Honestly, I'm sure that it's not that big a deal, other artists have rehabilitated their arms and hands and continued on. And if I do end up switching gears and taking my career in a different direction, it'll probably just take me a month to really make the switch and about a year to get over the grieving period. And then, when I'm not looking, I'd probably start cartooning again.

But before that happens, I've got inking to do! Tomorrow's comic should be interesting...

Today is a day for drawing. Nothing but drawing.

Despite the state of my arm, I'm really looking forward to it.

I've got myself a busy work schedule next week, so I'm busy taking care of the unpacking and organizing I need to get out of the way before that. Julie is at band rehearsal tonight while I'm tackling the multitude of my boxes that are labeled "File Immediately." I have far too many of those.

I've also finally got myself a disk of XP Pro to use to install the new mainboard for my desktop PC. I mean, it's all ancient hardware, but it's also the only computer of mine that can run my best scanner. Unfortunately, I've just found out that in order to run the new mainboard, I need a 350 watt power supply. My 250 watt one won't cut it. That'll be a $50 purchase.

Same kind of deal with my new old bicycle. The rear brakes are fubared, but all my salvage bikes that I can steal brakes from have a different style of brake*. It would require that I reconfigure where the brake line goes and maybe resize it. I want to ride the bike now, but that's just not going to happen. Even more ridiculous is that the previous owners of this frame switched the front and rear brake levers, so that your right hand works the front brake, which is rather startling. I need to switch those back (although, reading this article suggests that I might not want to). The icing on the cake of this story is that I can no longer find my helmet. Another $50 purchase.

But these PC and bike problems are long term projects compared to simply getting my office in order and producing more artwork.

And their costs are small compared to my ultimate goal.

It's high time I owned a Cintiq, and I'm going to make my comics buy it for me.



* And from what I'm reading, this difference in brakes is actually going to be a real problem. For those in the know, the bike I'm working on has V (or direct-pull) brakes, and all the salvages bikes have the older style center-pull cantilever brakes. I have no money to buy anything. None.

I'm already having moments where the new place feels like home, like it's been my home all this time. Living with Eric and Michele and Michele's kids is pretty easy, and even though the basement is funky and narrow in spots it still feels rather spacious. I'm sure with time Julie and I can make it feel really cramped. It'll be a challenge not to.

Terra, our cat, likes to have full roam of the basement, even though we try to keep the doors shut to compartmentalize the heat. If even one door is latched closed, she'll yowl at it until one of us opens it a crack (she can work it the rest of the way). But what's really funny is watching her awareness of the stairs.

For the longest time she'd walk right past them without realizing that they were there. I'd stand at the top and watch her go. Even after the dog came down the stairs a couple times, Terra would completely miss the fact that they were there. Then, last night, Julie and I were standing at the top of the stairs talking when I looked down and saw Terra glaring up at us. And then, when we came down to go to bed, Terra walked to the stairs and looked up and then stalked back in our direction muttering. She did this three times as if she was angry at us for lying to her all this time but had to keep double checking.

We said, "Come on, Terra, it's time for bed!"

And she would do her pacing, glance up the stairs, and mutter, "why didn't you tell me about the stairs. I bet that's where that dog comes from! I guess that's my lot in life, I have to live with two humans who lie to me! Why did I have to chose them for my family? I bet other cats don't have to put up with this."

1. Scan and upload DR_SPIN comic
2. Organize drawing space
3. Work on Stephanie's commission
4. Help Eric and Michele clean their old house Meet with Phil
5. Turn in keys to old apartment
6. Pick up wife from work and kiss her like we're in a movie.